My boyfriend wants to go backpacking for 3 months in Peru this summer. So I signed us up for a short course of Spanish lessons but when I told him he got really embarrassed and said he was planning to go on his own. Even when I cried he wouldn’t change his mind, partly because he thinks I’d hate sharing a dormitory with strangers and secondly because he says they don’t make rucksacks large enough to hold all my fake tan and hair products. I’m worried because if we are true soul mates, why does he want to spend an entire season without me? What if he meets someone else who doesn’t wear make up but can still climb mountains looking naturally tanned and prettier than I am?
Liz, Sunnyside
Men are free spirits, unfortunately, whereas women are more inclined to nurture and cling – particularly when their boyfriends start talking about ‘needing space’, whatever that means. You must pretend to be more independent than you really are. Book into a spa next weekend and pamper yourself, which will show him that you are quite happy to travel on your own too. Be unavailable and ignore his phone calls for a few weeks. If he doesn’t notice, then face up to the fact that he’s the wrong man for you -and at least you’ll have the chance to dump him first. Let him have his leather-skinned backpacker who enjoys sleeping in bunk beds with bearded traveling men and eating cold beans from the tin. Far better to go out with a boyfriend who appreciates the kind of lady who at least makes an effort with her appearance, even if it’s because she has to.
